Improving Our Self-Awareness

One of our most important skills in business, as well as in life, is our self-awareness. It’s fundamental to our emotional intelligence, which is fundamental to our relationships – all relationships, which in business means our clients and other key influencers and especially the people in our company, the people who are doing the work of our company.

The bedrock of emotional intelligence (let’s use the acronym EQ, although many use EI) is being aware of our own emotions and how they affect us, as well as having a sense of the emotions of others.

Why is EQ so important?
Being aware of our own emotions helps us maintain our composure, manage anger and/or stress, communicate effectively and make sound decisions when under stress.

Just think how much more effective we are if, rather than lashing out in anger, we calmly explain what needs to change and why in a respectful, appreciative and encouraging manner.

My favorite leaders, the ones who have influenced me the most in my life, seem to have that quiet confidence, a calmness, and the natural ability to connect with me so I want to do my best.

Because of my admiration and appreciation for their belief in me, I do not want to let them down.

That is just what we should want in business, for our team members to accept and appreciate our leadership, ideally our servant leadership, and want to do their very best.

How can we improve our EQ?
A key to improving our self-awareness and, in turn, our EQ, is our attitude. We will up our EQ if we want to improve our ability to be in tune with our feelings and how they affect what we say, the decisions we make, and how that changes whether we are in a good place emotionally or we are under stress or are angry.

To really want to improve our self-awareness we need a combination of humility and inner-confidence. Humility enables us to admit to ourselves that we can be better and that we want to work to become better. Inner-confidence enables us to admit to others that we know we can be better and we ask for their feedback.

To me, in business, it is incredibly helpful to think about the simple question, “How do I want to be perceived by others?” I think we could also substitute the words “received by others” and it has the same effect.

Do I want to be perceived as:

• Helpful?
• A good leader?
• Being empathetic and caring about others?
• Ethical?
• Being compose and making sound decisions?
• Being all about the team and not self-absorbed?
• Being honest? Authentic?
• Being humble and comfortable in my own skin?

I certainly would answer yes to each of these questions, and recognize that I must earn that reputation every day.

Ask for feedback, and assure those colleagues and friends we ask that we do want them to be honest and thoughtful in sharing their perceptions and even specific examples of our strengths and our areas of potential improvement, and that we will be receptive, that we know we can be better, and that we are trying to be.

Emotional intelligence is so very important. It is the key indicator of our success in business and in our leadership, as well as in our personal lives, our relationships and our happiness, and self-awareness is the bedrock of our emotional intelligence.