What a Difference Inner Confidence Makes

I have an interesting paradox to share with you. I believe both inner confidence and a sense of humility are two of the leading qualities of exceptional leadership. Yet, the two qualities seem at odds.

However, I believe inner confidence and humility are complimentary, rather than counter to one another. Inner confidence enables us to be comfortable with humility by allowing us to be vulnerable, to admit that we can be better, and to share that fact with others.

What does inner confidence look like?
We cannot try to be someone else. While we should think carefully about the people we admire, examine their qualities, and learn something(s) from them, we should do so not to be like them, but rather so we can be our best selves!

Self-awareness is so important, and inner confidence gives us the ability to think about how we want to be received by others and access how we are doing. Inner confidence helps us recognize that yes, we can be even better, we want to be, and here’s how we will go about becoming our best selves.

Why is inner confidence important?
While I have not studied this topic academically, I strongly feel that inner confidence enables us to listen deeply, with a quiet mind and to truly understand, which is a gift to our partner in the conversation. And, actually, just this evening, a friend mentioned to me that he feels trust with someone who is an intentional listener.

Inner confidence also enables quiet confidence and composure, including when under pressure. In the face of the fast paced business world or personal pressures, inner confidence helps us make the right decisions without hesitation or regret.

What does humility look like?
A pathway to success for all of us is striving for continuous improvement, as individuals, as teams, and as organizations. Having an attitude of “yes, I may be good at what I do, and also yes, I want to try to become better” is a perfect example of striving for continuous improvement.

Sports teams try to become better every day. So should we as business people.

Why is humility important?
Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is very attractive to others. For example, many people I work with receive feedback from a 360-degree assessment, accept that they have areas of potential improvement, that we all have them, and that they are comfortable saying to their colleagues, “I know I can be better at accepting input, or listening to understand, or including others in decision making when possible, or sharing information, as examples, and I would appreciate your help. Please give me feedback when you observe me doing these things well, and also when you feel I could have done them better. I will be receptive and not defensive.”

What does it take to be humble?
Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable takes strength, an inner confidence. And it is very attractive to others. We will gain their admiration, and they will feel a sense of trust, that we allow ourselves to be open and vulnerable with them.

To have inner confidence, we must have contentment with the value we bring, and we do bring value! And to have humility, we must recognize that we can always bring more value to others. It is always possible to improve our ability to serve our colleagues as well as our families.

Let our inner confidence improve our humility, our willingness to ask questions, to listen to understand and learn, to help others, and our commitment to become better, ourselves, as a team and organization.